expect mistakes
Mistakes. We all make them.
But what are they, really?
What is it that we are made to feel about them, and why is it typically so negative?
..also, like, why are they here, and who invited them?
To clarify the obvious, mistakes are exactly that- mis-takes. We tried something, for better or for worse (thanks free will), and the take just didn’t work out the way we wanted it to. In art, in music, and in life. Every one of us experiences those small (or, unfortunately, big) errors here and there, and knows what it feels like to carry the burdensome weight of the consequences that comes with them. No wonder we can so easily become disempowered when mistakes come up- it can all be such a heavy load to carry.
Maybe, though, that doesn’t always have to be the case.
Perhaps there’s a way to lighten the load of the weight that mistakes place on us.
And that, friends, is where the shift lies.
It pains us to affirm the fact that mistakes, given our innate humanness, aren’t going anywhere. In accepting that they’re here to stay, is there a reality in which this acceptance could lend to our reactions to mistakes becoming more positive, rather than negative? Could considering what is it about making mistakes that is actually in our control, lend to a more empathetic understanding to the role mistakes play in our professional, creative, and personal lives?
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When it comes to making mistakes, we purport that it’s the relationship we have with the mistake-making, especially in consideration of creatives in music and the arts, that we DO have control over. Our reactions, and the tempering of them, is where our power lies.
Contemplating this can provoke challenging some of our own beliefs about mistakes, such as:
Why is it that so many of us are so averse to the mistakes that we, and even others around us, make?
Does it have to be this way?
Why is it that the fear of making mistakes can feel so debilitating?
Does it have to be this way?
Most importantly, do mistakes define us?
Does it have to be this way?
No, it really doesn’t.
What if instead of dreading mistakes, we could come to expect them? Better yet, embrace them as a tool for growth?
Epictetus, a notable contributor to Stoic philosophy, offers some oxygenating perspective in consideration of our reactions to mistakes.
In an excerpt from ‘The Discourses of Epictetus, Book 4, Chapter 9’, Epictetus expresses that when it comes to making mistakes, we must exercise our will to move forward. Once we’ve acknowledged and condemned our error, we’re not to beat ourselves up relentlessly, but rather, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get back in the swing of it to try again. It’s in our own will, within the scope of our own responsibility, to train ourselves through our errors- and we can do it, for “there is nothing more tractable than the human soul”. We may have more control over mistakes than we thought; we may not be able to control them coming, but we can control how we interpret their place in our creative processes, and our lives, in general.
“From within comes ruin and from within comes help.”
In light of this perspective, maybe, instead of being mistake-averse, we can embrace the growth that comes from the process of making them. Instead of feeling debilitated by the thought of mistakes, we can both expect them and embrace them for their role in our growth and development. And what if, instead of being fearful of mistakes defining us, we can celebrate their imperative role of instigating such a necessary process of becoming, ultimately moulding us into who we want to be, who we’re meant to be?
We don’t need to fear mistakes. We can accept mistakes, We can, in the most positive of ways, expect mistakes, trusting that they’re of vital importance to our growth.
In the end, we don’t know who invited them, exactly- and they’re obviously not the most comfortable of things to move through..
..but we’re sure happy they’re here.
